Three essentials for the old man
Professor Fisher teaches at Rutgers University at the State of New Jersey in the United States to study human love behavior.
Fisher pointed out that there are three forces that cause a couple to grow old: desire, obsession and adhesion.
The first power: desire Fisher believes that desire is not the same as love.
Desire is governed by chemicals secreted in the brain, simple and straightforward.
However, if you have sex for the sake of sex, it is also a dangerous thing, because the levels of oxytocin and vasopressin in the human body will be high at this time, causing harm to health.
Moreover, these chemicals cause a strong sense of dependence, but if the other person is not a suitable object, it is bad.
The second kind of force: the fascination with romantic love involves chemicals different from the first kind of force.
Fisher believes that romantic love produces a chemical called dopamine, which makes people overly obsessed with sexual partners.
From an evolutionary perspective, this natural fascination transforms males and females to stay together and spend the female’s pregnancy together.
Surveys show that people who are infatuated with their loved ones more than 90% of the time.
Fisher pointed out that romantic love between lovers will gradually become indifferent over time. There may be two reasons for this: one is that the nerve endings of the brain are gradually numb under high levels of stimulation for a long time; the other is brain chemistryThe secretion level of the substance gradually decreases.
Regardless of the cause, the enthusiasm will gradually cool down after two to three years.
The third force: the weakening of the enthusiasm through fascination with enthusiasm, the third phase, the adhesion phase, begins.
At this time, the partners feel calm and secure.
It is also this kind of power that a couple of husbands and wives are old.
Of course, the problem in life is how to find the other half who shares it with you.
”Frozen three feet, not a day’s cold.” In fact, the love between husbands and wives gradually diminishes, there is a certain orientation to find, the common are the following[aura]: First, the interest in sex life is reduced, useAll kinds of excuses to avoid and affectionate each other, to the act of showing love, with a “routine” attitude.
Second, the temper becomes irritable and irritable, it is often difficult to pick up on the other side for small things.
Third, become impatient with your partner’s speech, lose interest, and deliberately cause actions that are contrary to each other’s wishes.
Fourth, voluntary self-isolation reduces the activities that both parties can participate in together.
Develop personal interests and discard the other party from your own circle of activities.
Fifth, minimize the time spent with your partner.
Some kind of extended working hours, deliberately wandering outside of work.
Sixth, there is growing interest in friends of the opposite sex, and even openly expressing their thoughts about other opposite sexes.
Seventh, gradually reduce the enthusiasm, and show resistance to the partner’s feelings, cold and frosty.
Eighth, fierce quarrels and violent behaviors continue to appear, even in public, they will arguing with their partners unabashedly, and the quarrel is getting more and more serious.
Nine, self-centered mentality is becoming more and more obvious, only consider their own needs, and no longer think about each other.
When the above situation occurs in the relationship between husband and wife, the alarm bell indicating that the relationship is broken has sounded.
At this point, you should look for the cause, bridge the cracks, and do not reset to an uncontrollable level.